Sexy Is In Your Mind January 26, 2008
Posted by autumnseave in : Sex and Sexuality , trackbackCan you be sexy and overweight? Can you be sexy and differently abled? Can you be sexy and mature (i.e. “old”)? These are questions that women - and yes, men, too - ask themselves everyday. The sad thing is that when it comes right down to it the answer we often give ourselves is “no”. It’s hard not to come up with that answer in the society that we live in.
In our world we look around and the sex gods and goddess are beautiful, almost perfect it seems. I guess it’s hard not to look that way when they have make up artists, hair stylists, and fitness gurus at their beck in call to get them ready any time they have to make a public performance. And if they aren’t available they have to stay out of the lime light otherwise the result is often that of Jennifer Love Hewitt, who experienced the cruelty of the media. Now, I’m not a big fan of hers (I actually mostly have thought she was too skinny!) but I feel for the girl. We all know that she is not fat and she knows she is not fat but did either of those facts prevent the media from making a big to do out of it and from every celebrity blogger putting that picture up for intense scrutiny? Of course not. So, sexy celebs have to be careful that when they go out in public they are ready for it.
But, the bottom line is that we are not celebrities. We don’t have make up artists, hairstylists, and fitness gurus available whenever we need to go to the office party, the get together for drinks in the trendy part of town, or even to work. We have to work with what we’ve got. And we have to love what we’ve got.
When you can stop caring what you do you don’t have you can be sexy no matter what you look like. Sexy is an attitude and really all in your mind. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work on it - do whatever it takes to make you feel sensual, alluring, and attractive. Use your makeup, your push up bras, or that new Boston Red Sox t-shirt that fits just right and highlights the blue in your eyes. And know that it doesn’t really matter what others think but rather what you think of yourself. Because if you like yourself, if you’re confident, if you’re not hiding in a corner and can hold a decent conversation - people will be attracted to you.
Have you ever noticed that people are more attractive when they are in love and with someone that loves them? That’s because they feel sexier and they are more confident in themselves. The trick is to find that feeling without depending on someone else. How can you do that? Try a few of these things:
~ Find something you are good at and do it often. It could be a sport, a hobby, teaching other people thing, a volunteer activity, working with children, writing - pretty much anything that makes you feel good about yourself. The high you get when you’ve done this activity will make you feel good about yourself and will be obvious to others.
~ When you’re feeling not-so-hot about yourself put on your favorite outfit, even if you don’t really feel like wearing it. Wear that sweater that people always tell you makes your eyes pop or wear those red heels that make you feel like a superstar.
~ Smile. Really. Even if you don’t feel like smiling if you do it often enough you’ll start feeling great.
~ Compliment someone else - sincerely. Making others feel good makes you feel good.
~ Flirt with someone. Your hubby, the bus driver, the clerk behind the counter. Mild flirting is usually returned with a smile and when someone smiles at you, you have to smile back.
~ Take 5 minutes to relive a sexy memory. Feel the satin of your lingerie on your skin. Remember the scent of the incense that was burning. Feel someone’s touch. Get really into it for 5 minutes and I can almost gaurentee that after that you’ll feel different and people will react to you differently.
Sexy is all in your mind and just because you aren’t feeling it right now doesn’t mean you can’t be feeling great about yourself - or at least better - if you put some effort into it.
Comments»
Great post! Sexy is as sexy does, I always believe - sexy is an attitude and really all in your mind reiterates that very well!
And really - if you love yourself, it’s purely a bonus if others love you too
xx Dee
Thats is so true! You need to feel sexy in your mind before you can project it to others.
Sexy is multifaceted; there has been so many people that I have found sooo sexy, that others don’t.
We need to look past the societal standards of beauty handed down from false advertising in order to realize what sexy truly is: curves, silly imperfections (character traits in my opinion), and most importantly, confidence!
Ciao,
marcello
It’s all true! And I would add: Stand up straight, and then even a little straighter. It will make you feel and appear confident.
You’re absolutely right. Sexy is in the mind, And people with great minds are the sexiest… I am “reliably informed” that an upcoming post on my wife’s blog is likely to make similar observations
thanx
I don’t see the sexiness.